At What Cost? Full Moon Eclipse
As the Full Moon Eclipse approaches...
What is the loop you’re in actually costing you?
I’ve been watching things play out lately. Different people, situations and problems.
So, this is what I’ve been getting.
Let's put these Dot's together then check the sky.
I was planning a few things with my husband, on our Anniversary last week, but what we were planning just wasn’t at 100%.
Getting what I wanted meant asking him for another piece when he really didn’t have another piece to give.
He was already giving in other areas - mainly his job, yard and everyday things.
Was I disappointed?
Yeah.
But seeing everything, all the things together, I would’ve been better with, “No. Let’s not.”
So, it didn’t happen.
But it stuck with me.
We take pieces, give pieces, offer pieces nobody is picking up, and keep doing whatever we’ve been doing. But how do we know what somebody has available if nobody says anything?
How do we know if what we’re offering is even wanted?
Something has to move between two points.
Later that evening, I was in the shower and the water hitting my face reminded me about movement.
Water needs movement.
Leave it sitting long enough and it stagnates.
Energy needs movement too.
I watched people exhausted, going through the same vicious cycles, feeling like something needed to change. Working their ass off in the same situation and maybe even for years but now they have started different conversations with other people. Changing things.
And with that, possibilities are starting to show.
Now some stayed put because changing would cost time, energy and definitely some struggles.
But staying was already costing those things too.
These are the dots... from the last few weeks... down below I will put this all together.
So, here's another one ...ya know, we all get angry.
There was one day I was so pissed off, and that reminded me anger is energy too.
So, what do you do with it?
Shove it down? Throw it directly into somebody else’s face?
Or move the damn thing somewhere?
Write it down. Burn it. Rip it up. Dig in the dirt. Clean something. Whatever.
just Move it.
All these things kept coming up. Not just with me, but with others too.
I went to think on these things while looking at my plants.
I planted broccoli a few months back. Never done that before, but it’s called Gypsy broccoli.
I mean, come on. I had to. 😂
So, I went to see how Ol’ Gypsy was doing.
I had four broccoli plants getting eaten to shit.
They looked horrible.
But the roots were still alive.
I could keep them where they were and keep trying harder.
Or I could change something.
So, I dug them up, put them together, repotted them, gave them fresh dirt and water, and moved them onto my porch.
Beat to hell, but they weren't dead.
That made me laugh because I’ve been feeling the same way.
Beat to hell, but ain’t dead.
Apparently, a few of you are too.
Movement by itself doesn’t mean you’re getting anywhere.
You can move in a circle, work harder, give more and do more.
We can keep moving all damn day and still end up right back where we started.
So maybe the question isn’t:
Is this moving?
Maybe it’s:
What is this movement creating?
Tolerance.
Okay...
So, what are the planets doing?
Saturn.
How much can we tolerate just because we can?
How long can we keep doing something?
And at what cost?
Saturn rules a whole lot of that territory. Time. Limits. Responsibility. Endurance. Consequences. What can actually be sustained.
Saturn has been retrograde in Aries, and Aries wants to move.
Do something.
Go.
But good Ol’ Saturn asks, can the way we’re doing it actually continue?
We also had Venus in Libra opposing Saturn last week.
Venus brings value, resources, relationships and exchange into the conversation.
What are we giving?
What are we receiving?
What is something worth?
Saturn asks what it costs over time.
At what cost?
I ain’t talking about the Benjamins.
I think we screw this up sometimes.
We look at the immediate price.
How much did it cost?
How long did it take?
How hard was it?
We moved here a few years back. We’re on the side of a mountain, bottom line. Steep inclines in different areas and roots coming up from underneath the ground, although we’ve removed most of those now.
Normally, about a quarter of the yard could take a day to weed-eat.
Why?
We’re old. 😝
Inclines plus heat equals eventually the body can’t sustain it.
So, one area gets done.
Cool.
Except the next day your body is shot.
Then the next day, freaking great, it’s raining.
Nothing gets done.
Sometimes we’re talking weeks before we get back around, and then we’re starting the same section cycle all over again.
So, was the cost one day?
No.
There’s an after-cost.
The recovery.
The thing that got pushed off.
The energy you didn’t have afterward.
The thing you wanted to do but couldn’t.
Sometimes the biggest part of the bill is the part you never calculated.
So maybe the question isn’t:
What does it cost to do this?
Maybe it’s:
What does this actually cost?
Your time?
Your body?
Your energy?
Your sanity?
Tomorrow?
And what is that cost creating?
So…
Staying has a cost.
Changing has a cost.
And before anyone gets my words all twisted, NO. I’m not telling you to blow up your life around this.
I’m getting you to think.
Cuz sometimes staying is absolutely worth the cost.
Sometimes changing something would cost more than it fixes.
And sometimes the loop is exactly what creates stability.
After looking at Saturn, I kept getting this thought about the rings around her.
They look really solid from here. Like a surface. Somewhere we could stand up and balance on them.
Did you know they aren’t?
The rings are made of countless separate pieces, mostly ice and rock, orbiting Saturn.
They are moving!
Different pieces at different distances, moving at different speeds.
And somehow all that movement creates what looks from here like one stable structure.
The movement makes the stability.
I ain’t going to lie.
That got me.
How often do we mistake stability for nothing changing?
Nothing moving.
Don’t rock the boat.
Keep everything exactly where it is.
Maybe movement isn’t always what threatens stability.
Sometimes movement is what creates it.
That doesn’t mean every loop is useful.
Saturn’s rings are moving in loops.
Being in a loop isn’t automatically the problem.
We all are in one way or another.
Maybe the better question is:
What is the loop creating?
Is the energy going somewhere?
Is it maintaining something you actually want?
Is the cost building something?
Or are you paying and paying and paying just to arrive back at the same damn place?
Then another Dot.
I was on my front porch really early in the morning when I looked up and all of a sudden, the fog rolled in super quick.
Within a couple of minutes, the mountains disappeared behind thick Appalachian fog.
The temperature dropped.
I could hear the bugs, but everything else got strangely quiet.
Sitting there in the dark, the fog almost looked still.
I took a video.
Black.
Nothing.
I did it again, this time with the flash on.
Holy shit.
It was moving like crazy.
I couldn’t see that movement with my own eyes in the dark.
The flash "flashlight" didn’t make the fog move.
It let me see what was already moving.
We can hold a flashlight for somebody.
We can say, “Look over here.”
We can tell them what we see.
Or watch somebody we love to go around the same loop and think we know exactly where this is going.
But seeing something for somebody isn’t the same as them seeing it.
You can only hold the flashlight so long.
Eventually, they have to pick it up.
On a different night I was looking at the stars. Big ol’ triangle in the sky.
I took a picture.
That wasn’t what I saw.
Tried again.
Light. Dark. Different settings.
The triangle showed, but the picture still wasn’t as awesome as what my eyes saw.
How do you explain to somebody what you saw when the picture you’re showing them doesn’t look like what you experienced?
You really can’t.
They would have had to be standing there.
Sometimes you have to see the damn thing yourself.
And now we’re heading into a lunar eclipse.
Late Thursday night into early Friday morning, Aug. 27-28, we have a deep partial lunar eclipse.
The Moon doesn’t disappear.
It doesn’t stop moving.
Our view changes because Earth is between the Sun and Moon, and the Moon moves through Earth’s shadow.
Light.
Dark.
Movement.
Seeing.
Not seeing.
Well…
This is a Pisces Full Moon eclipse opposite the Virgo Sun.
Mercury is also in Virgo, Venus is in Libra, Mars is in Cancer and Saturn remains retrograde in Aries.
Pisces knows something about flow.
Virgo wants to look at how something is actually working.
How is this actually working?
Because something can technically work and still cost way too much to keep working that way.
Looking at the whole sky, I kept seeing things about passage, completion and moving from one place to another.
Not everything that ends has failed.
Sometimes an agreement reached its end.
Sometimes you got everything you were supposed to get from a particular loop.
And sometimes you’re still paying for something because you haven’t stopped long enough to ask why you’re still paying.
Hell, somewhere in the middle of writing a blog about cost, I had to ask myself:
Is this blog worth what it costs me to make it?
😂
Apparently, nobody gets out of this one.
The answer wasn’t necessarily to stop writing.
My question was whether I needed to keep doing it in a way that cost me an entire damn day.
The thing itself may not be the problem.
Maybe it’s the way we're doing it.
In these next few weeks, I’m looking at the whole bill.
Not just what something costs at the moment I pay for it.
What am I paying with?
What happens afterward?
What doesn’t happen because I paid for this?
What is the loop creating?
Is this cost taking me somewhere?
And maybe most importantly:
Am I tolerating this just because I can?
So... If I had to wrap this whole writing up in a nice little package for ya....
Pisces has had us looking at flow,
what we absorb, what drains us and
where the energy is going.
Virgo brings it down to earth.
Okay...
How is this actually working?
And not how was it supposed to work or
how long have I been doing it this way and
if I keep going, can I technically keep doing it?
I think it's more of ...How is it working now?
Saturn is still retrograde in Aries, so I don’t think we’re done with the questions around tolerance, limits and sustainability either.
Aries wants movement, but Saturn slows that down enough to make us look at what the movement is costing us.
Then Mars keeps moving through Cancer before heading into Leo in September.
So, we’re not staying here forever.
The energy starts changing.
And I think that's where some of this gets useful understanding.
Maybe we don’t need to make one giant move.
We need to notice where our energy is already going, what keeps eating it, and whether we actually want to keep paying for it.
Because once you see the cost, you have information you didn’t have before.
You can keep paying it.
Maybe change how you’re paying it.
Or decide it’s worth every damn bit of it.
You maybe could realize you’ve been paying for something
that ended a long time ago.
That’s going to look different for everybody.
But going through this eclipse and into September,
I think the question shifts a little.
From, what is this costing me?
To, now that I can see it,
what am I going to do with that?
Is it something?
Maybe nothing yet...
I can’t even make somebody see what I see.
I can hold up the flashlight.
Eventually, you have to pick it up yourself.
What you see when you do - is yours.
But at least now the flashlight is on.
- And if it's not, go turn the damn thing on!
How Can I Help?
I can hold up the flashlight for you in a session.
Or I can show you how to hold up your own flashlight in one of my workshops.
You’ll find both on my website.
Or shoot me an email.
We’ll see what you see when the light comes on. 🔦
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